20. Battered, Bruised and Bewildered

 

Listen here;  https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=14277382

 As news of another senseless shooting and the loss of more innocent lives comes across the news, like many of us I am angry, frustrated, and sad. I don't want to spend time pointing fingers of blame or suggesting how the situation can change, but I do want to acknowledge the helplessness I feel right now, in the face of many situations we are facing in our lives today. 

The politics and division, the violence, the war in Ukraine, folks’ standards of living being eroded by rising prices (with those least able to help themselves being affected most.) and then there are our personal losses and struggles.

 It is overwhelming. Acknowledging that we are all 'battered, bruised and bewildered' is the simple message of the song. Although I wrote it as a reflection on some personal struggles I was facing, I keep returning to it whenever I feel like the storm is greater than my ability to deal with it.

 In some ways it is an acknowledgment that none of us is blameless. We haven't always spoken out when we should or could have. We have remained comfortable with half-truths and easy solutions. We have compromised. We have avoided the discussion because we are not sure if we have anything more to say.

None of us knows what the future may hold. For sure the innocence that we once believed in has long since faded. But we can all acknowledge our failings of the past. And hopefully we can learn from our mistakes and move forward.

 If we insist on cradling our fears and taking a road of inactivity then nothing will ever change. If we go forward with stumbling steps, at least we are moving forward!

 "Just raise your glass to better days."

Battered, Bruised and Bewildered.
© Adrian J Pratt May 18, 1991

 Battered, bruised, and bewildered,
Wondering how my heart has become torn.
Why, oh my soul, you once flew so free,
Now you're questioning the day that you were born.
Don't know how we ever reached here,
I don't know where we should go.
Battered, bruised, and bewildered
Where this road will lead
God only knows

Remember those days of childhood innocence,
When joy and laughter filled all of our time?
But oh, my soul they seem like light years from today
And nothing I can do can bring them back now.
How do we get into these situations?
How are we so easily compromised?
Battered, bruised, and bewildered
No-one who can say
Where our future lies.
 
Don't say to me "I know how you're feeling"
How can anybody know?
Don't say to me
That you know that tomorrow
Will blow all my troubles away...
Just raise your glass to better days

 I tell you I cannot see a way forward,
Out into the darkness I must go
Come on, oh my soul, stop cradling your fears,
Let's get out of here and move down the road.
But don't expect to see me marching in confidence,
Don't expect to find me rushing from place to place
Battered, bruised, and bewildered
It's all you can do
Just to face the day.

19. The Island of St Dynwen (Welsh patron saint of love.)

The Adrian Song of the Week

 

My latest creation.

Listen Here: The Island of St Dynwen (Welsh Patron Saint of Love.) 

 https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=14433306

A couple of weeks ago I spent some time at a retreat, led by songwriter, Andrea Stople. It was a wonderful experience to engage with like minded folk and explore the way words and music can take us to unexpected places in our imaginations.

One of the exercises had to do with picturing a place that meant a lot to to us, and finding images to describe it. My mind immediately went to Llandwyn Island, accessed by walking along the beach at Newborough, in Angelsey,Wales.

Not only are the views simply breathtaking, but the place is steeped in history and legend. Links below offer stories of St Dynwen, known as the Welsh Patron Saint of lovers, as well as giving a glimpse of the awe inspiring beauty of the area.

When we lived nearby I spent many joyful hours there with family. Sometimes swimming in the sea. Other times taking long walks with the dog along the shore.  We didn't always visit the island itself, but it was always in view.

Capturing some of those images, alongside my personal reflections offered the foundation for a new song.

The Story of St Dynwen (for kids)   https://youtu.be/X_U332b84rA
A Saint's Island  A short film telling the story of Saint Dwynwen, the 'Welsh patron saint of lovers'. Filmed entirely on Llanddwyn Island. https://youtu.be/3U02qGD9UtY
Llandwyn Island from Above https://youtu.be/yRT8EQa3w08

The Island of St Dynwen (Welsh patron saint of lovers.)
 Adrian J Pratt April 27 2022

Seagull cry, ancient rhyme
Romantic invitation
Healing vibes, wind blessed lives
Lovers destination

Walk slowly,Breathe in the air,
Take time, Be aware ....
Legends are just stories
We are writing today
Love the best, forget the rest
Be beautiful, Be beautiful, in your own way

Island at the intersection
Of heaven kissing earth
Treading ancestral footsteps
In the lands of my birth

Walk slowly, Breathe in the air,
Take time, Be aware ....
Legends are just stories
We are writing today
Love the best, forget the rest
Be beautiful, Be beautiful, in your own way

Pilgrim hopes, echo all around
Rediscovering
What others once found.

But it takes time
And its time worth taking....
It takes time
And its time worth taking....
It takes time
And its time worth taking....

Walk slowly, Breathe in the air,
Take time, Be aware ....
Legends are just stories
We are writing today
Love the best, forget the rest
Be beautiful, Be beautiful, in your own way

18 "Beans On Toast"

Listen here: https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=8502141

Many moons ago I took 4 teenagers from West Virginia to a youth retreat in Wales. One evening, all the Brit youth were excited that it was the evening that we would have beans on Toast for dinner. The USA contingent asked me what “Beans on Toast” was. I said, “Well. It's beans on toast.” “That's it?” They asked. “Just beans. On Toast?” They truly could not grasp how that would be something to look forward to.

And, looking at it through fresh eyes, it is kind of peculiar. When you live in a culture like the USA, where even a straightforward sandwich can feature multiples layers of meat, cheese and salad items, covered in a variety of dressings... it can be a shock to the system to see such disparity on display, as just beans on a piece of toast.

But of course, I grew up in the UK where Beans on Toast was considered a staple item on many a menu.  It could function as a breakfast course (my favorite), as lunch or even dinner or teatime. Yes... there were occasions when brown sauce, eggs and tomatoes would be added to the mix, but good old beans (preferably Heinz) on thick buttered toast fulfilled my dietary needs for at least one meal of many a day.

Though no longer in my homelands, I still enjoy the feast. News of my fascination with Beans on Toast even made it to Bluestone Youth Camp in West Virginia, where the lovely Cheryl Miller has indulged my culinary desire on a number of occasions. Though it has to be by special order.

I am guessing it rose to prominence in the UK as it was a cheap and cheerful meal in times of economic uncertainty. I recall a housing estate in one community we lived in being described as “The Baked Bean Estate” because it consisted mostly of homes which were probably a little pricier than their owners could afford. So, to keep up with the bills and mortgage payments, they were living off numerous meals of Beans on  Toast.

In the extended version of the 1979 Two Tone Classic by “The Specials” there is a line that says, “You've done too much, Much too young,  Now you're chained to the cooker, Making beans on toast for tea”

The voices at the beginning and the end of the recording are from an episode of the classic northern Soap Opera “Coronation Street” Beans on Toast? Mmm. Lovely.

Beans on Toast
© Adrian J Pratt December 2009

Wake up in the morning and I'm
Wondering what breakfast might be...
Will it be my favorite thing,
What I most enjoy with my cup of tea.

I want Beans on Toast
I want Beans on Toast
I want  Beans on Toast   
That's what I like
The most
Beans on Toast

I don't want no cream cheese bagel
No pancakes at my breakfast table
I don't want no Museli
There's only one thing that satisfies me

I want Beans on Toast
I want Beans on Toast
I want  Beans on Toast   
That's what I like
The most
Beans on Toast  

Don't be bringing me any milk and Corn Flakes
For me bacon and egg they ain't got what it takes
Leave out your yoghurt and your fruit and your cheese
There's something that I want more than any of these...

I want Beans on Toast
I want Beans on Toast
I want  Beans on Toast   
That's what I like
The most
Beans on Toast

17 "Helen's Song"

 

The Adrian Song of The Week
Helen's Song

 Listen here: https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=13503167

A beautiful baby girl came into our lives back in the nineteen eighties. I had just finished college. We were living in the top two stories of a house on a main street in Aberystwyth.  We were six weeks away from my beginning to work at my first churches in North Wales. We had no idea what lay ahead. That day,... none of it mattered. We'd become a family.  A brand new life, full of promise had come into our lives.

Now she's all grown up with two children of her own. So impressed of all she has accomplished and the life she has created for herself and family. In some ways her life has resembled the meaning of the names that were given at her birth. She has faced some hard times. But her inner light and pleasant nature have guided her through.

I came home from the hospital the morning she was born, picked up the guitar, and out came this song. At first it was hastily recorded on my faithful reel to reel recorder. A less frantic, re-recorded version was made a few years later.

Happy birthday Helen Naomi!
So very delighted and proud of the amazing woman you have become.

Helen's Song
©Adrian J Pratt  - May 4 1984

Helen, Naomi, This day was your birthday,
The day that you first saw the light of your first day,
I sing this song for you my child,
To say... welcome to life.

Helen is a name that means 'Bright one,'
Helen is a name meaning 'Light'
Even in your darkest moments,
I pray you'll find the strength,
To shine through the night.

Helen, Naomi, This day was your birthday,
The day that you first saw the light of your first day,
I sing this song for you my child,
To say... welcome to life.

Naomi, now that means 'Pleasant,'
For that is how we'd all like life to be,
But there comes times when life gets hard,
So, child, hold on tight,
To every precious dream.

Helen, Naomi, Welcome to this life,
May it be a fine one, filled with joy and light,
May you grow to be strong, hold your head up high,
Helen, Naomi, welcome to life!
Welcome to life!
Welcome to life!

16 "Am I a Christian?"

 The Adrian Song of the Week

Listen here: https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=13509783

Following Easter week in the Christian calendar comes what is known as 'Low Sunday.' Usually attendance seems low by comparison to the Easter services and it can feel like a bit of a downer. The suggested readings often concern Thomas, the historical doubter or more accurately 'unbeliever.'

'Am I a Christian' is my Thomas song.

I have no qualms with viewing myself as a spiritual person. I pray. I seek guidance from Scriptures. I try and live by what I think are the important bits of Christian faith. It's been my life's work trying to share the insights I feel that such a worldview has given me, in a way that I hope will be helpful to others.

Yet, even as I write that, I feel uncomfortable self identifying as a genuinely Christian person. The life and personality of Christ just seems so far removed from the life I experience on a daily basis.

I am aware in myself of compromise and hesitancy. Of misunderstandings and mistakes. Of times my actions do not fit with my words.

I  certainly don't go around walking on water or turning water into wine. I am not in a position of facing martyrdom because of my unflinching beliefs or of saving the world through my sacrificial actions.

Being part of the church doesn't help. Church communities can be wonderful. They can also be breeding grounds for the maintenance of cultural norms, deep seated prejudice and positive reinforcement of peoples worse behaviors.

There are large sections of the universal church that would happily decry my beliefs and suggest that, because of my stance on this or that issue, or emphasis of this doctrine or that theory, then I am not a true believer and will probably spend eternity in darkness or worse.

Apparently the word 'Christian' may have first been used as an insult, rather than as a badge of honour. Followers of Christ were referred to as 'Little Jesu's' ... rather like in the 1970's folks were called 'Jesus Freaks'.

If that be the case I feel my hesitancy adopting the name 'Christian' for myself has some justification.

I feel the best I can do is just trust that my stumbling and imperfect efforts to understand and follow teachings that deeply resonate with who I am, is enough.

Am I a religious person? Without a doubt. 

Am I a spiritual person? Yes. Spirituality is important to me.

 But am I 'Christian'? Depends on just what you mean by 'Christian.' 

And who you are speaking with. 

And by what common standards (if there actually are any universally acknowledged criteria) that you are judging that question by.

The recording is an old one from the 1980's, created in my tiny music room and copied from a cassette tape. The piano pad/vocal part is fairly straightforward.  I tried to place a layer of rhythmic uncertainty and occasional rumbles below the surface, and echoes around the vocal, as befits the subject matter. 

Make of it what you will. As I explain in the song, "If I can't be honest about my doubts, how can I be honest about anything else?"

Am I a Christian?
©Adrian J Pratt 1987

Am I a Christian?
It depends just what you mean
For sure I have a faith in God
And there are things I believe.
But can I really claim to have
A life full of the Divine...
And does it make any sense to claim
Jesu's life was anything like mine.
If you want to stick a label on me
Go ahead but I won't wear it
If you want to pigeon hole me in my beliefs
Go ahead but I won't declare them
Am I a Christian?
It depends just what you mean
For sure I have a faith in God
And there are things I believe.

I've had  people say to me
'Just have faith and everything will turn out right'
But I've seen a lot of darkness in the eyes
of those who claim to walk in the light.
Hypocrisy and bigotry and prejudices inflamed
And all this going on its claimed
In Jesu's precious name.
If you find these thoughts offensive,
if it makes your heckles rise,
Then I throw to you a challenge;
Am I singing truth
Or do I speak lies?
Am I a Christian?
It depends just what you mean
For sure I've got a faith in a living God
And there are things I believe

It seems to me these days
That truth is hard to find
I feel the only truth we really believe
Is the one by which we live our lives
I don't want to lead anyone astray
I don't want to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes
But some of the claims to truth I've heard
Have turned out to be blatant lies.
Maybe I'm being contradictory
Maybe I'm not making much sense
But if I can't be honest about my doubts
How can I be honest about anything else?
Am I a Christian?
For once tell me what you really mean.
I've got a faith in a loving God
That I pray is enough for me and Him.

15.The Caterpillar Easter Song

 15. The Caterpillar Easter Song

Listen here: https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=13770776

Happiest of Easter’s and springtime joys to all!

A brief reflection on the Christian Easter message using the image of a caterpillar transforming intro a butterfly. I wrote this with an Easter service with kids’ participation in mind.

I envisaged a small group of kids wriggling around in caterpillar costumes, then rising with bright butterfly wings and running up and down the aisles.

Sadly, it’s never happened…. yet! I know there are some folks in congregations I’ve served who really would frown on the idea of children running up and down aisles. And they wonder why their congregation is not thriving? Some among the frozen chosen just need to thaw.

The arrangement is deliberately simplistic. I’m not trying to get airplay or create a hit here. But it could easily be played on piano, the musical breaks extended to allow for movement, and sung by a small children’s choir. If any were looking for a brief Easter interlude in their celebratory services, I can help!

I confess that I have tried to compose more relevant and ‘adult’ Easter songs, but the existing selection of hymns is rather intimidating. How does one come up with the kinds of words Wesley could produce or tunes of the caliber of Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy?”

If you are looking for something in that tradition try this: https://youtu.be/oPIXJuyGXgA

Enjoy the coming of Spring and the promise of new life in whatever way brings you joy. For myself the message of resurrection is a powerfully transformative one, no matter how it is interpreted. 

And having been around theology for way too long… there really are many ways of looking at the biblical accounts!

Maybe it is better to stick with simple allegorical motifs… such as butterflies.
 
The Caterpillar Easter Song
© Adrian J Pratt 1990

Caterpillar crawling creeping pest
Creature chewing cabbages
That could have been my best
Miserable creature, pointless little life
Caterpillar crawling creeping blight.

Caterpillar cocooned in chrysalis tomb
Creature encased
In a cold brittle womb
Miserable creature, pointless little life,
Caterpillar cocooned in chrysalis tomb.

Butterfly bright, Wings unfurled
Rises from the cocoon,
Flies free in the world
Miracle creature, renewed, reborn,
Like resurrection hope on the first Easter morn.

Butterfly bright, Wings unfurled
Rises from the cocoon,
Flies free in the world
Miracle creature, renewed, reborn,
Like resurrection hope on the first Easter morn.

14. Big Bob's Water Music (Tresaith song)

 Listen here: https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=13771359

This Weeks “The Adrian Song of the Week” was prompted by an old friend, Stuart Trimby’s birthday. On his Facebook page somebody had posted a picture of a group of folk at the Tresaith Youth Holiday Week, back in the day.  Not sure what that year was, and I don’t want to know, because it would mean I’m getting older than I thought.  Lol

Every year a group would gather at that glorious Welsh Seaside location for a week of fun and fellowship. One of the champions of the week was the now retired Reverend Robert Bebb and his wife, Jackie. Robert was minister at Hoylake Presbyterian Church on the Wirral and later at Park End Presbyterian, in Cardiff. Among his other achievements he served for a while as the Moderator of the Presbyterian Church of Wales.

But, for a small group of folk, he will always remain in their hearts as one of the leaders at Tresaith,Youth Holiday Fellowship, held at a Center sadly no longer a part of the Presbyterian Church of Wales mission.

Here's a link to Rev Bebb talking about one of his favorite bible Verses: https://youtu.be/2HI_8Fzthek

Robert was known for some of his phrases, that, in keeping us all in order, had to be repeated. One was “No water in the building.”  Another, “I’m only going to say this once.” A major task each morning at any youth retreat is getting kids, who have stayed up way to late, out of bed.  Quite often, at Tresaith, a piece of music would be blasted out to rouse them.

A particular year came along, when…terror of terrors… the Bebbs were not going to be able to be in attendance. Sion (the guy to my right in the picture… now a minister in Melbourne, Australia) had the idea of recording Robert’s words on tape so as his presence would still be heard! One afternoon we travelled over to the manse in Hoylake and captured some of his immortal phrases.

What to do with them? At that time, I had a small recording set up in a tiny room in the house we were living. I had obtained an Akai S700 Sampler, (For gear nerds… one of Akai’s earliest… 12-bit, 6 notes polyphony and precursor to the much better known S900 and S1000 models.)

 
One thing it was good at doing was loading phrases that could be played, at varying pitches, across the keyboard. In went Rev Bebbs words of wisdom. 

I didn’t have a reel to reel deck at that time, so everything had to stay in the MIDI or digital domain (more nerd talk) but thanks to the wonder of Atari and Roland, I came up with a little ditty that became the “Wake Up” music for the year the Bebbs could not attend Tresaith.

You would think that would be the end of the story. Just another song that became a legend in its own lunchtime. As the Internet became a place you could post music, it was a natural thing to put it out there for any who wanted to reminisce.

I was incredibly surprised when a few years later, after moving to West Virginia, I received an email from a DJ somewhere in Asia, (Indonesia I think) asking for permission to use the song as part of the set he performed at Dance events.

More recently I came across a graphic on Spotify that surely has to be related in some way!

Seems that, for a while, Rev Bebbs words went global.

One of the beautiful things about music, of any style, is how it can take us back to relive happy memories of places and people. I can’t play this one without thinking of those wonderful days at Tresaith, and the folk who shared the experience. Good to still be in touch with many of them.