16 "Am I a Christian?"

 The Adrian Song of the Week

Listen here: https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=13509783

Following Easter week in the Christian calendar comes what is known as 'Low Sunday.' Usually attendance seems low by comparison to the Easter services and it can feel like a bit of a downer. The suggested readings often concern Thomas, the historical doubter or more accurately 'unbeliever.'

'Am I a Christian' is my Thomas song.

I have no qualms with viewing myself as a spiritual person. I pray. I seek guidance from Scriptures. I try and live by what I think are the important bits of Christian faith. It's been my life's work trying to share the insights I feel that such a worldview has given me, in a way that I hope will be helpful to others.

Yet, even as I write that, I feel uncomfortable self identifying as a genuinely Christian person. The life and personality of Christ just seems so far removed from the life I experience on a daily basis.

I am aware in myself of compromise and hesitancy. Of misunderstandings and mistakes. Of times my actions do not fit with my words.

I  certainly don't go around walking on water or turning water into wine. I am not in a position of facing martyrdom because of my unflinching beliefs or of saving the world through my sacrificial actions.

Being part of the church doesn't help. Church communities can be wonderful. They can also be breeding grounds for the maintenance of cultural norms, deep seated prejudice and positive reinforcement of peoples worse behaviors.

There are large sections of the universal church that would happily decry my beliefs and suggest that, because of my stance on this or that issue, or emphasis of this doctrine or that theory, then I am not a true believer and will probably spend eternity in darkness or worse.

Apparently the word 'Christian' may have first been used as an insult, rather than as a badge of honour. Followers of Christ were referred to as 'Little Jesu's' ... rather like in the 1970's folks were called 'Jesus Freaks'.

If that be the case I feel my hesitancy adopting the name 'Christian' for myself has some justification.

I feel the best I can do is just trust that my stumbling and imperfect efforts to understand and follow teachings that deeply resonate with who I am, is enough.

Am I a religious person? Without a doubt. 

Am I a spiritual person? Yes. Spirituality is important to me.

 But am I 'Christian'? Depends on just what you mean by 'Christian.' 

And who you are speaking with. 

And by what common standards (if there actually are any universally acknowledged criteria) that you are judging that question by.

The recording is an old one from the 1980's, created in my tiny music room and copied from a cassette tape. The piano pad/vocal part is fairly straightforward.  I tried to place a layer of rhythmic uncertainty and occasional rumbles below the surface, and echoes around the vocal, as befits the subject matter. 

Make of it what you will. As I explain in the song, "If I can't be honest about my doubts, how can I be honest about anything else?"

Am I a Christian?
©Adrian J Pratt 1987

Am I a Christian?
It depends just what you mean
For sure I have a faith in God
And there are things I believe.
But can I really claim to have
A life full of the Divine...
And does it make any sense to claim
Jesu's life was anything like mine.
If you want to stick a label on me
Go ahead but I won't wear it
If you want to pigeon hole me in my beliefs
Go ahead but I won't declare them
Am I a Christian?
It depends just what you mean
For sure I have a faith in God
And there are things I believe.

I've had  people say to me
'Just have faith and everything will turn out right'
But I've seen a lot of darkness in the eyes
of those who claim to walk in the light.
Hypocrisy and bigotry and prejudices inflamed
And all this going on its claimed
In Jesu's precious name.
If you find these thoughts offensive,
if it makes your heckles rise,
Then I throw to you a challenge;
Am I singing truth
Or do I speak lies?
Am I a Christian?
It depends just what you mean
For sure I've got a faith in a living God
And there are things I believe

It seems to me these days
That truth is hard to find
I feel the only truth we really believe
Is the one by which we live our lives
I don't want to lead anyone astray
I don't want to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes
But some of the claims to truth I've heard
Have turned out to be blatant lies.
Maybe I'm being contradictory
Maybe I'm not making much sense
But if I can't be honest about my doubts
How can I be honest about anything else?
Am I a Christian?
For once tell me what you really mean.
I've got a faith in a loving God
That I pray is enough for me and Him.

15.The Caterpillar Easter Song

 15. The Caterpillar Easter Song

Listen here: https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=13770776

Happiest of Easter’s and springtime joys to all!

A brief reflection on the Christian Easter message using the image of a caterpillar transforming intro a butterfly. I wrote this with an Easter service with kids’ participation in mind.

I envisaged a small group of kids wriggling around in caterpillar costumes, then rising with bright butterfly wings and running up and down the aisles.

Sadly, it’s never happened…. yet! I know there are some folks in congregations I’ve served who really would frown on the idea of children running up and down aisles. And they wonder why their congregation is not thriving? Some among the frozen chosen just need to thaw.

The arrangement is deliberately simplistic. I’m not trying to get airplay or create a hit here. But it could easily be played on piano, the musical breaks extended to allow for movement, and sung by a small children’s choir. If any were looking for a brief Easter interlude in their celebratory services, I can help!

I confess that I have tried to compose more relevant and ‘adult’ Easter songs, but the existing selection of hymns is rather intimidating. How does one come up with the kinds of words Wesley could produce or tunes of the caliber of Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy?”

If you are looking for something in that tradition try this: https://youtu.be/oPIXJuyGXgA

Enjoy the coming of Spring and the promise of new life in whatever way brings you joy. For myself the message of resurrection is a powerfully transformative one, no matter how it is interpreted. 

And having been around theology for way too long… there really are many ways of looking at the biblical accounts!

Maybe it is better to stick with simple allegorical motifs… such as butterflies.
 
The Caterpillar Easter Song
© Adrian J Pratt 1990

Caterpillar crawling creeping pest
Creature chewing cabbages
That could have been my best
Miserable creature, pointless little life
Caterpillar crawling creeping blight.

Caterpillar cocooned in chrysalis tomb
Creature encased
In a cold brittle womb
Miserable creature, pointless little life,
Caterpillar cocooned in chrysalis tomb.

Butterfly bright, Wings unfurled
Rises from the cocoon,
Flies free in the world
Miracle creature, renewed, reborn,
Like resurrection hope on the first Easter morn.

Butterfly bright, Wings unfurled
Rises from the cocoon,
Flies free in the world
Miracle creature, renewed, reborn,
Like resurrection hope on the first Easter morn.

14. Big Bob's Water Music (Tresaith song)

 Listen here: https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=13771359

This Weeks “The Adrian Song of the Week” was prompted by an old friend, Stuart Trimby’s birthday. On his Facebook page somebody had posted a picture of a group of folk at the Tresaith Youth Holiday Week, back in the day.  Not sure what that year was, and I don’t want to know, because it would mean I’m getting older than I thought.  Lol

Every year a group would gather at that glorious Welsh Seaside location for a week of fun and fellowship. One of the champions of the week was the now retired Reverend Robert Bebb and his wife, Jackie. Robert was minister at Hoylake Presbyterian Church on the Wirral and later at Park End Presbyterian, in Cardiff. Among his other achievements he served for a while as the Moderator of the Presbyterian Church of Wales.

But, for a small group of folk, he will always remain in their hearts as one of the leaders at Tresaith,Youth Holiday Fellowship, held at a Center sadly no longer a part of the Presbyterian Church of Wales mission.

Here's a link to Rev Bebb talking about one of his favorite bible Verses: https://youtu.be/2HI_8Fzthek

Robert was known for some of his phrases, that, in keeping us all in order, had to be repeated. One was “No water in the building.”  Another, “I’m only going to say this once.” A major task each morning at any youth retreat is getting kids, who have stayed up way to late, out of bed.  Quite often, at Tresaith, a piece of music would be blasted out to rouse them.

A particular year came along, when…terror of terrors… the Bebbs were not going to be able to be in attendance. Sion (the guy to my right in the picture… now a minister in Melbourne, Australia) had the idea of recording Robert’s words on tape so as his presence would still be heard! One afternoon we travelled over to the manse in Hoylake and captured some of his immortal phrases.

What to do with them? At that time, I had a small recording set up in a tiny room in the house we were living. I had obtained an Akai S700 Sampler, (For gear nerds… one of Akai’s earliest… 12-bit, 6 notes polyphony and precursor to the much better known S900 and S1000 models.)

 
One thing it was good at doing was loading phrases that could be played, at varying pitches, across the keyboard. In went Rev Bebbs words of wisdom. 

I didn’t have a reel to reel deck at that time, so everything had to stay in the MIDI or digital domain (more nerd talk) but thanks to the wonder of Atari and Roland, I came up with a little ditty that became the “Wake Up” music for the year the Bebbs could not attend Tresaith.

You would think that would be the end of the story. Just another song that became a legend in its own lunchtime. As the Internet became a place you could post music, it was a natural thing to put it out there for any who wanted to reminisce.

I was incredibly surprised when a few years later, after moving to West Virginia, I received an email from a DJ somewhere in Asia, (Indonesia I think) asking for permission to use the song as part of the set he performed at Dance events.

More recently I came across a graphic on Spotify that surely has to be related in some way!

Seems that, for a while, Rev Bebbs words went global.

One of the beautiful things about music, of any style, is how it can take us back to relive happy memories of places and people. I can’t play this one without thinking of those wonderful days at Tresaith, and the folk who shared the experience. Good to still be in touch with many of them.